Day to Day

I've been a little remiss about blogging lately.  Truth is that Mom's life has become so entwined with our life that it's easy to forget to take photos of the moments.  Here's a few that were taken during July, August and September.

This is the day that the Lord has made.
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

                         Psalm 118:24

Moody Beauty

It's been a busy week on the bayou, playing "catch up" after being away for a week. Not complaining, just stating a fact. . . It seems that Mom and my sister did very well while we were away. My sister also reported that Boudxy was a "very good and smart boy". Extra treats for Boudxy!!

While we were away Mom had to miss her weekly hair appointment - that's happened once before and didn't seem to be a big deal. This time it WAS a big deal. She refused to go to church Sunday because of her hair. I understand that, however during the entire weekend she was very withdrawn. I suspected perhaps she was angry that we had not taken her with us on vacation. I talked with her and tried to "draw her out". She didn't seem angry. Hmmm? Then on Monday she refused to come to the table for dinner, saying "I look awful and don't want to leave my room". It was her hair that was causing all the angst. I brought her dinner to her on a tray, but explained that after her hair appnt on Thursday we'd need to go back to eating dinner with the family. Yesterday was "Beauty Shop Day". Afterwards we went to lunch, then for ice cream, and on to the Library. She looks beautiful and seems right back on track. Problem solved.

 How we look really affects how we feel.
I've always felt that way.

 Do you think our appearance factors into our mood? 

What say ye?

May Rewind.

Lunch "Out".

Mother's Day

Library Day.

Off to the Movie - "God Isn't Dead"

Movie Day, "The Other Woman".

Shopping

Movie Day, "Draft Day".

Thief.

Last week was my sister's birthday.
It came and went and Mom had know idea.

We always had birthday parties when my sister and I were kids.  The neighbor kids were invited along with a few friends from church and school.  Birthday cakes (homemade, of course), "Pin the Tail on the Donkey", and then the opening of presents - it was all quite exciting to us.  I remember Mom making little favor baskets by cutting Dixie cups a certain way then filling them with candy for our guests to take home. Lots of photos were taken with the big-flashbulb-Kodak-camera to mark these special times. Nothing was pre-packaged or ordered.  Everything was made, by hand, by Mom. Sweet, happy, simple times...

She could never have imagined there would come a day when she could no longer remember the day she birthed her two babies.

Dementia is a Thief.

Diamonds and Stones

"Some days are diamonds some days are stones

Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone

Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones

Some days are diamonds some days are stones."

      ~John Denver

It seems we've had so many, blessed, good days with Mom that sometimes I forget that ultimately we're fighting a losing battle.  Dementia/Alz always wins.  There is no cure.  But there is a lot to say for the medicines that can work their God-given magic for a very long time.

Today Mom was "out of sorts".  These days happen occasionally and when they do I'm reminded once again of the challenges she faces...

Instead of getting dressed and readied for the day she remained in her pj's far longer than usual.  Once I went into her room and she was sitting in her chair simply running her fingers back and forth through her hair.  She had a distant look in her eyes but her conversation was right on track.

Later I went back into her room and she was sitting staring blankly, still wearing her pj's.  Normally she would have been fully dressed and reading a book.  She's still an avid reader. . .So I suggested to her that we go a movie. She agreed.  This spurred her to take a shower and ready herself for going out.

The movie outing was good.  She enjoyed the movie. She seemed much more "in tune" after being out.

There is a lot to be said for mental stimulation.
Last weekend I was out of town and Mom was indoors the entire time I was gone.  She was cared for, but not really mentally challenged or stimulated.  I feel today was the result of that.
It's the biggest challenge I face right now with caring for Mom and helping her to be at her best.

April Rewind

Mom's new Fella at the Mexican restaurant.

Movie Day!

Flower shopping.

Easter crafting.

Lunch outside "picnic style".

Easter Sunday

4-20-2014

Barksdale AFB air show.

Picked some roses from my garden  today

and gave them to Mom as a bouquet
for her room.  I thought she'd like it.
But who knew she'd absolute
LOVE it?!

April has been a very good month for Mom.  She's content and happy which in turn makes me, content and happy too! 

March Rewind.

March 2014.
Rewind.

Mom, my sister and me

in Tulsa at HK's birthday party.

*As a child it was always said that I looked like my Mom and my sister looked like our Dad.  As the years unfold I see things changing and it seems to me that the three of us are all beginning to resemble (I'm in the solid red.).  Interesting observation.

Mom with her oldest grandson (my son).

Taken in Natchitoches, LA on a Day Trip.

Mom with grandson and his wife.

Taken while they were in LA visiting.

(They live in WA state.)

Mom playing with HK

while riding in the car.

It's been a month of of going & doing.

Mom has even exceeded my expectations of what she was able to do during the month.  She travels wonderfully by car and enjoys the outings. . .Conversation is a growing obstacle for her but she enjoys being with everyone and enjoying the sights.  You probably noticed in one photo she was wearing two pink blouses.  Not sure what that was about, and I didn't even ask.  Perhaps the outer blouse was meant to be a jacket.  Not sure.  Overall it's been a very good month.

Helping the Easter Bunny

I'm thinking about a craft.
An Easter craft that Mom can work on then take

to the Nursing Home to give away.

If this turns out to be too
messy, labor intense, difficult we'll scale down
the project and just make a few and give to some
children. 

Mom enjoys crafts and I've not come up with anything for her to "craft" since Christmas.  Gotta get back into the groove.  We'll see how this goes.

BTW, the original crafting idea suggested putting a piece of candy inside each egg, if that's too much of a problem we'll just have to eat the candy.  Oh the things I'm willing to do to make this work.  *wink

A Purse by any other name would still be a purse. . .

Mom's purse has become an issue.

It's similar to the one above.
It looks just fine
but it's a monster when you want 

to find things.

Until the onset of dementia Mom purchased a new purse almost every season.

That has changed now.

She's had the purse she's carrying a very long time.

I've suggested she buy a new one, but she's not the least bit interested in buying one.  I would be happy to buy one for her but I KNOW she wouldn't carry it, especially since it's become sort of a "power struggle" between us.  

Today we were in a store and Mom was buying candy bars.  The line was long and people were becoming inpatient as she dug through all the pockets of her purse (each one having a separate zipper) to find her money.  I've had a purse with lots of pockets before and it taught me to never, EVER, buy that type of purse again.  I understand  her dilemma. We've discussed the purse "issue" several times, but she refuses to budge.

Today, as we got back into the car to leave the store, I said,  "Mom", that purse is sucky (sorry, but that was my word), you need to get a purse without all those pockets".  (Yes, I was a little snippy, but not rude.)

"I do NOT", she replied, shooting me an angry look.
"It looks a lot better than that thing you carry!".

Touche'!
Mom still has her spunky side.
I. LOVE. IT.
And I love my Mom.

Birthday Gifting

We've had the fun of celebrating (my granddaughter) Mom's great granddaughter's birthday.  Nothing like putting a one year old in the midst to insure it's a PARTY!  Mom wanted to get her a gift so we headed to the toy aisle at Target.  Mom welded the shopping cart and chose her gift, without any input from me.

She did a GREAT job!

Haylee Kate LOVED it!

Golden Years

Yesterday Mom rode with me to take Boudxy to the vet for his annual vaccinations.  Since we had driven so far across town we couldn't just simply go home when we were done, so we stopped by Hobby Lobby to browse.  Doncha' just love that place?  We looked from one end of the store to another.  Mom pushed the cart and we enjoyed our browsing.  We were there a very, long time.  Mom has gotten much slower with her walking, however the shopping cart gives her good stability.  I made a mental note that perhaps this wasn't the best store to take her for browsing.  She commented on how much she wished she could still live in her own home again.  I told her I understood, and we kept on movin'.  She hasn't referred to her home in a long time, but I guess seeing all the things for a home rekindled the flame again.  It's really sad to see my once energetic, active Mom, slow w-a-y down.  Really w-a-y down.

Sometimes the Golden Years aren't actually so "golden".

Love remembered.

Sweet Valentine's from the Great Grand dolls!

Chocolates!

Teasing with her youngest Great Granddoll!

Young, Old, and in-between
We all thrive with LOVE!

Once upon a time. . .

Once upon a time, in a land not far from you, 

there lived a village of people.  The people of

 this particular village were a little unusual, only 

because they all lived together in the same house.  

Here is one of their stories. . .

We were getting ready to go to church Sunday morning.  I took Mom's morning pills into her.  She took them then told me, very matter of factly,  "I had a heart attack during the night".

OK.

She felt fine at the moment as the pain had come and gone  by this time, still we felt a trip to the ER was in order.  To my surprise, Mom agreed with the plan, as long as she was allowed to shower and put on her makeup before going.  Agreed.

We (Mom, Me, and Lil' MaMa) spent Sunday in the ER and by sundown Mom had been nestled into her third floor room and I was settling in for the night with her.

Lil' MaMa was a lot of help by diverting Mom as I got her signed into the hospital, bringing dinner to me and also going home to pack a bag to bring back to the hospital for me.  Sometimes it takes a Village.  Mister stepped up to care for HK,  which freed  Lil' MaMa to assist me, which gave me the complete independence I needed which enabled me to tend to my Mom.  Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE my Village?!

Mom was in good spirits, even with the constant blood draws.  The night went smoothly and by noon on Monday she had been given the all-clear to go home.  All her tests had returned perfectly and it was decided her chest pain had been an episode of reflux.  AND, Mom doesn't seem more confused or "set back" at all by her hospital stay, which has been an issue in the past.

By Monday evening all was once more calm and peaceful in the Village.
And the people of the Village rejoiced.

"The Talk"

I had been waiting for the perfect time to broach the subject.  I knew we needed to have "The Talk".  The time was right, so I began with full energy, "Mom", I said, "have you ever thought about using a cane?". I was upbeat, positive, and very matter of fact.  We had just crawled into the car trying to dodge the rain that had threatened most of the day.  I was fiddling with the wiper settings on the car as I asked.  

She seemed a bit stunned  surprised by the question.

"Why, no", she replied, "I don't need a cane".
"If I needed one I would use one, but I don't need one".  She had the look of someone in total disbelief.  She seemed to think my question was a bit funny.  The look she had was as though I had suggested she color her hair green or wear her purse upside down on her head.

"I just wondered", I said, trying to keep the conversation upbeat.  "If you had wanted one I was gonna get you one.  Course you wouldn't need it all the time, but I thought sometimes you might find one helpful, and if you wanted one I would be glad to get you one, you sure don't want to fall.  Well, it's something you can think about and if you ever want one you be sure to let me know..." I was rambling.

The fact is that Mom has become a great deal more "wobbly" in the past few months.  Her balance is off.  Some days worse than others.  It especially concerns me when we are out and she steps from a curb onto flat ground. I think a cane could perhaps help her avoid a fall.  I WISH she would consider it when we are away from the house, but it's not gonna happen.  

I think about how I would feel if I were in her place.  Perhaps I would be resistant to using a cane too.  Along with the aches, pains, and decline of independence, aging also brings a loss of dignity.  Using a cane tells the world that one needs help.  Without a cane the need for help remains somewhat private.

I understand.