Drawing the line

The last few days have been wild a bit stressful.

Mom has been doing so well for so long now that it is surprising when she begins to "act out" (for lack of better words).  In her finest moments Mom is opinionated and wound quite tightly - that's simply her personality.  No one has EVER said that Mom is a "laid back" type of person.  I get that and I'm find with it.  I understand that it takes all kinds of folks to make up our world.  BUT, the last few days have found her VERY short-tempered, snappy, and down-right difficult.  When this happens then I'm called upon to decide whether she is simply being "her self" or if her behavior is dementia related.  That's where things get tricky.  

It's really hard to know where to draw the line.

I think there has been a bit of both going on.
If her issues are dementia related then I'm supposed to call her neurologist.  At that point he may choose to change the doses of her meds, or change the type of medications.  If Mom is simply "being Mom" then it would be a mistake to have her meds changed in any manner.

Mom says she stayed awake all one night worrying about her money, which translates into "she is afraid my sister and I are stealing from her".  *sigh  She talks about it endlessly.  I try to assure her that's not the case, then I try to "redirect".  She will not be "redirected". . .She snipes.  She complains.  She is sure there is no one in this world who can be trusted. . .She worries that the doors are not all locked at night...She is unhappy when I talk to a neighbor while standing in the driveway (probably because he is a male). . .Then, just when I'm sure this is all dementia related, we were going into the post office and she opened the door and motioned for me to go ahead of her, saying, "See, I can be nice when I want to". . .Then after complaining non-stop while we were running errands, she is silent for a while.  As we drive into the garage she says, "See, I didn't gripe at all on the way home.".  These statements lead me to believe she knows full well what she's doing and saying.  Yes, Mom is quite the character.  I know she gets bored at times and sometimes I think the griping and acting out is simply born out of the boredom.  

There again, it's hard to know where to draw the line.
So instead of calling the doctor, I've decided to simply continue as I've been doing, and draw that line some other day.

This and a little that.

I bought some Fall "window clings".
Mom did a good job and enjoyed
decorating our back door using them.

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I've got to share this little giggle with you:

I got this text from my sister who is at Mom's house cleaning out her freezer.  J and I celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary last May.

I think we'll pass on the cake!

August

August is unfolding as a very good month for our household.  We've been busy, but just enough.  Mom is on a good schedule and doing very well.  She is mostly happy and satisfied, and leveled-out.  These are all things that make me smile.  The only changes I have noticed is a decline in her ability to walk very far, and problems, at times, with her speech (finding words to complete her thought).  These are small, occasional changes, but enough to note.  

Things she enjoys -

1. Ice Cream
2. Grandchildren
3. Books/Library visits
4. Mail
5. Blooming plants
6. Candy Bars
7. Lunch "out"

I like all these things too!

Speechless

This morning I was in the kitchen calling the Beauty Shop when Mom came in for breakfast.  She smiled, as if to say "Good Morning", but instead, she sweetly said, "Does Johnny know you tell other men that you love them?".  Startled, I responded, "What?".  She smilingly repeated, "Does Johnny know you tell other men that you love them?".  Color me "Speechless".  I ended the phone call which was still ringing and hurriedly handed her her morning meds.

The rest of the day was totally uneventful.

Just a reminder to me of how very fragile our situation really is.

Filed under: DKITYTI

On our weekend trip we stopped by a Subway sandwich shop for lunch. Mom always insists that she pay for her own meal.  I helped her order herself a Personal Pan Pizza.  (I didn't know they had pizza on the menu, did you?) Then I stepped back into line to order myself a sandwich.  When I noticed the line had slowed a bit I looked toward the cashier and saw that Mom was "personalizing" her pizza.  Finally we were situated at a table to eat.  As I unwrapped my sandwich I noticed that Mom's cheese pizza was topped with "pickles", just as she had requested.  She liked it!

This memory will be filed under"Don't Knock It Till You've Tried It". 

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I'll make no judgment calls since I like fresh tomatoes with biscuits & gravy.

To each their own.

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I appreciate you for taking the time to stop by.

Your comments are always so encouraging.
Thanks!

Done Deal.

Monday was our big court day and I'm thankful to say it went off without a hitch, well almost. Mom was in good spirits throughout the day, for the most part. Her attorney met with her in the morning then the two of them went to lunch at McDonald's before our court time of 1:30.  Mom enjoyed the outing with her. The court appearance only lasted 10 min. The judge ruled that everything was going well and that we wouldn't need to make any other court appearances. YAY! This was even better than we had anticipated. From now on we will only need to file a yearly financial report which our attorney will bring to court for us.  This is a big load off our shoulders since to appear in court requires a 6 hour drive.

The one glitch came when we (me, my sister, our attorney, and mom) had to file the court papers in the courthouse.  There were several copies of papers to be signed, stamped, etc.  Then my sister and I were both handed the finalized papers.  Mom wanted to see the papers.  I hesitated for a bit, then handed the papers to her.  She read through them and became "concerned & agitated" once again about her money.  This was what we had feared might happen.  She left the courthouse with my sister and my understanding is that they had quite a rocky afternoon, and Mom is still a bit annoyed with my sister, though she can't really remember exactly why.  This will pass in a couple of days and should be something we won't have to deal with again since we no longer have the need to make court appearances.

There were also some times of fun during our stay in Tulsa.  

Mom, our oldest daughter/Amy, and our oldest Granddoll/Kaylee.

My Sister, Mom, Me.
Mom looks great, don't you think?!

Also, let the record show that Mom does great on road trips. She's the best traveler of any of us!  Me?  After a couple of hours in the car I feel like a caged animal!  Glad the trip is behind us and all is well on the Bayou.

Coming Soon.

We are happily plodding along getting closer to August with each day. When I look at the calendar I'm reminded of how far we have come, considering Mom was living alone, in her own home only 6 months ago.  Amazing to look at all the changes that have been made.  Sad, on the one hand, that the changes were necessary, but happy, on the other hand, that Mom has gone through "deep water" and has emerged in a "content" state of mind.  It would be VERY hard for any of us to make the changes she has had to make, let alone make them when you don't understand the "why" of all the changes.

With the coming of August brings the dreaded "6 month court date", Aug. 5th, to be exact.  We don't mind making the drive to Tulsa, or even going to court, but we (my Sister & I) are concerned that Mom will be very stressed by going back to the courthouse, dealing with her attorney, etc. etc. The court will be  inquiring as to how things are going, asking Mom how she's doing, and looking over her financial statements [to be certain we have not made off with her money].  I get it.  I understand it.  But, I'm not sure Mom will.  Oh-How-We-Wish she didn't have to deal with the courts.  My sister is under the impression that we will do this again next Feb (6 months) and after that we won't need to appear in court any more; only our lawyers will need to appear once a year and provide the proper financial documents.  I sure hope she's right!