Once upon a time. . .

Once upon a time, in a land not far from you, 

there lived a village of people.  The people of

 this particular village were a little unusual, only 

because they all lived together in the same house.  

Here is one of their stories. . .

We were getting ready to go to church Sunday morning.  I took Mom's morning pills into her.  She took them then told me, very matter of factly,  "I had a heart attack during the night".

OK.

She felt fine at the moment as the pain had come and gone  by this time, still we felt a trip to the ER was in order.  To my surprise, Mom agreed with the plan, as long as she was allowed to shower and put on her makeup before going.  Agreed.

We (Mom, Me, and Lil' MaMa) spent Sunday in the ER and by sundown Mom had been nestled into her third floor room and I was settling in for the night with her.

Lil' MaMa was a lot of help by diverting Mom as I got her signed into the hospital, bringing dinner to me and also going home to pack a bag to bring back to the hospital for me.  Sometimes it takes a Village.  Mister stepped up to care for HK,  which freed  Lil' MaMa to assist me, which gave me the complete independence I needed which enabled me to tend to my Mom.  Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE my Village?!

Mom was in good spirits, even with the constant blood draws.  The night went smoothly and by noon on Monday she had been given the all-clear to go home.  All her tests had returned perfectly and it was decided her chest pain had been an episode of reflux.  AND, Mom doesn't seem more confused or "set back" at all by her hospital stay, which has been an issue in the past.

By Monday evening all was once more calm and peaceful in the Village.
And the people of the Village rejoiced.

"The Talk"

I had been waiting for the perfect time to broach the subject.  I knew we needed to have "The Talk".  The time was right, so I began with full energy, "Mom", I said, "have you ever thought about using a cane?". I was upbeat, positive, and very matter of fact.  We had just crawled into the car trying to dodge the rain that had threatened most of the day.  I was fiddling with the wiper settings on the car as I asked.  

She seemed a bit stunned  surprised by the question.

"Why, no", she replied, "I don't need a cane".
"If I needed one I would use one, but I don't need one".  She had the look of someone in total disbelief.  She seemed to think my question was a bit funny.  The look she had was as though I had suggested she color her hair green or wear her purse upside down on her head.

"I just wondered", I said, trying to keep the conversation upbeat.  "If you had wanted one I was gonna get you one.  Course you wouldn't need it all the time, but I thought sometimes you might find one helpful, and if you wanted one I would be glad to get you one, you sure don't want to fall.  Well, it's something you can think about and if you ever want one you be sure to let me know..." I was rambling.

The fact is that Mom has become a great deal more "wobbly" in the past few months.  Her balance is off.  Some days worse than others.  It especially concerns me when we are out and she steps from a curb onto flat ground. I think a cane could perhaps help her avoid a fall.  I WISH she would consider it when we are away from the house, but it's not gonna happen.  

I think about how I would feel if I were in her place.  Perhaps I would be resistant to using a cane too.  Along with the aches, pains, and decline of independence, aging also brings a loss of dignity.  Using a cane tells the world that one needs help.  Without a cane the need for help remains somewhat private.

I understand.