Mother's Day

I lived my entire life in the same town as Mom and Dad, until nine years ago when a necessary job change for my husband led us to another state.  We moved six hours away from "home" at that time.  Since then my Dad has passed.  Mom lives alone and seems to have made the adjustment to being widowed. We continue to make the drive "home" quite, often and in between visits we have relied on phone calls and emails.  It isn't the ideal situation, but it has worked.

When we visit we try to divide up our time between seeing Mom and also seeing our oldest daughter, our son, and our three grandchildren.  It makes for very busy, but fun visits . . . In times past I would often choose to spend the nights with Mom when we visited, we were both night owls and enjoyed staying up late and chatting.  On one particular night Mom and I were in our pj's, eating ice cream and chatting well into the wee hours.  I can't remember what was said that upset her, but during our chat Mom became extremely agitated.  She cursed at me, called me a horrid name and said I shouldn't even be there.  This was bizarre.  I took offense and was very hurt by her words - Mom had NEVER spoken to me like this before.  I remember asking her if I should leave, but she conceded that I could go ahead and stay the night since it was so late.  The next morning was Mother's Day; I remember that part clearly.  I gave her a gift and expected that she would apologize for her behavior from the previous night.  Instead, she simply thanked me for the gift and remained aloof.  I left feeling very offended.  The outburst was never mentioned again, though I harbored the hurt for a good amount of time.  I continued to call and to visit with her each time we came to town, but I never spent the night there again, until she became ill a couple of years later.

There are so many things that can be understood in hindsight.
Dementia is a sneaky disease.