Yesterday my Grandbaby had a Dr. appointment across town. My daughter is not comfortable driving the on's and offs of the highway, so I always drive them to this type of appointment, and wait in the car. Mom and I have done this many times. We visit and people watch as we wait and the time goes by quickly. Yesterday Mom refused to go. I thought that would be the case, but had hoped I was wrong. Soooo, my husband left work to be home at 12:30 to stay with Mom. I'll be honest, it annoyed me that Mom would not "roll with the program". I told her so.
"I know you're angry with me. I "get" that. But when you do things simply to annoy me sometimes it affects everyone in the family. J will have to leave work to come home to stay with yo because you refuse to go with us."
She knew I was aggravated.
I think she was pleased with herself.
By dinnertime she was a little warmer.
My husband told her it "wasn't nice" for her to not talk to me.
She told him she would talk to me when she had something to say to me.
Fast-forward to today.
She has stayed in her room ALL DAY, except for when I call her for meals. It's like she has imprisoned herself in her bedroom. I've check on her, asked if she needed anything, and invited her to come into the living room to watch TV. She refuses.
This may not be the best way to handle this, but tomorrow she has an appointment at the Beauty Shop, so that will occupy most of the day, then Friday we make the drive to my Sister's in Okla.
I'm learning that to be a Care Giver one must give up any notion of perfection. I'm also learning that some days I have more to give than others. Some days I navigate from a heart of understanding, then some days I get annoyed because I don't feel like she is trying nearly as hard as I am. There is absolutely no "Sainthood" on my part, but I do have the desire for Mom to be happy and live her best life. Some days I can deliver the goods, and some days "not-so-much".
Honestly, I'm glad Mom will be with my Sister for the next month. That doesn't sound very "saintly", does it? But it's the truth. I think the break will do us both good.
Sometimes I wonder if I can do this for the long haul.
But like "The Little Engine That Could", my heart says, "I think I can. I think I can. . .but Saints need not apply."
It's like raising five teenagers at once! You are doing the best you can and that's all that matters. Truthfully you amaze me. Enjoy your break to its fullest!
ReplyDeleteHugs~
I'm happy you will get a break! Perhaps she will return in a happier frame of mind!! Enjoy every minute!!! Or I should say - use every minute to RECOVER and RECHARGE!!!
ReplyDeletePS - you ARE a Saint!!
take care and enjoy your break, goodness knows you need one!
ReplyDeleteAll of the above. You need a break. You are a saint. I hope you will make the most of your time off and just enjoy your Mister, your daughter and granddoll. Then you will be ready to get back "on that track" and chug on.
ReplyDelete